1. Jesus told me to marry you.
2. The Holy Spirit in me wants to hug the Holy Spirit in you.
3. Let's take a ride in my Vega. I just got the brakes fixed.
4. I am burning to have sex with you. Feel how hot I am.
5. Sorry about that, the beano hasn't kicked in yet.
6. Are your feet wet? You have been swimming in my mind all day.
7. I would love to take you to a movie, but Mother says I have to be home by eight.
8. Cemeteries are so fun, let's go exploring.
9. You smell like my grandmother.
10. Of course I can spend the whole day with you, that is the point of a prison furlough.
11. (Bonus) We'd better hurry, this coupon for a free taco is about to expire.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
A Dog Named Blue, Religion, and the Way Home.
There is a story in my family about my mother's first cousin C.J. Trentham. C.J. Loved to hunt raccoons. It is an all night affair. You start at dusk and finish up at dawn. C.J. raised dogs to hunt with. I think they were blue tick hounds and black and tan hounds. Hunting dogs. Dogs that would tree their prey and not kill it. Dogs that would hold raccoons at at bay and then started baying themselves until the hunters came. This would go on all night through miles and miles of woods. Then at dawn everyone, dogs and men, would load up and go home.
The story goes that one time they were loading up the truck and one of the dogs was missing. My cousin said something like "That's just old Blue. He'll be back in a day or two." Then C.J. took off his jacket and laid it on the far side of the ditch. And sure enough in a couple of days old Blue was there laying on the jacket, waiting to be picked up.
It is not a very good story. Unless you let C.J. stand for God, religion stand for the jacket, and let me stand for old Blue. Then it makes perfect sense. I am a lot like that old dog. I get lost, confused, I ran hard all night, and I just want to go home. I look for the jacket. Something that smells like God. That something is religion. It smells like God to me. It is what was left behind for us to find. For us to wait for the return or answers to our questions or however this thing called life shakes out.
I have found God or parts of Truth in almost every spiritual path I have studied. There are many jackets laying around. I am a Unitarian-Universalist. I believe that there one God and that we all wind up in heaven. Or at home or in nirvana or however you want to couch it. I also believe that we are all one.
So while you ponder what I have written, I'll go back to that jacket. God's around here some place. I can smell it.
The story goes that one time they were loading up the truck and one of the dogs was missing. My cousin said something like "That's just old Blue. He'll be back in a day or two." Then C.J. took off his jacket and laid it on the far side of the ditch. And sure enough in a couple of days old Blue was there laying on the jacket, waiting to be picked up.
It is not a very good story. Unless you let C.J. stand for God, religion stand for the jacket, and let me stand for old Blue. Then it makes perfect sense. I am a lot like that old dog. I get lost, confused, I ran hard all night, and I just want to go home. I look for the jacket. Something that smells like God. That something is religion. It smells like God to me. It is what was left behind for us to find. For us to wait for the return or answers to our questions or however this thing called life shakes out.
I have found God or parts of Truth in almost every spiritual path I have studied. There are many jackets laying around. I am a Unitarian-Universalist. I believe that there one God and that we all wind up in heaven. Or at home or in nirvana or however you want to couch it. I also believe that we are all one.
So while you ponder what I have written, I'll go back to that jacket. God's around here some place. I can smell it.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
My Dream Ticket for President
The problem with our current system of politics seems to be, seems to me, that there is more interest in perpetuating the system rather than solving our problems. It is more reactionary than proactive. It is gradualism and delay. We started with a Revolution and wound up with something that falls short of evolution. And I have a solution, maybe.
I would love to see a ticket that consisted of Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson and Michio Kaku nominated for president. Tyson-Kaku or Kaku-Tyson. It would not matter, and they would not care. They are scientists and educators. They are problem solvers, not prestige seekers. They would rather have a solution rather than the credit for the solution.
My guess is that it would take them about a year to solve our problems. They would first have to give the Congress and Cabinet heads assignments to keep them busy for that year. Like fact finding missions and things like that. Then they would call in their friends from science, technology, engineering and math. These "STEM" experts could then start to fix our broken systems. Yeah I think it would take about one year. Because I think they know and we know that most of the answers to our problems are common sense. When you ask the question the right way , the answer becomes apparent. These guys would ask the right questions. Then practicality not politics would prevail.
After that year these two men could go back to being scientists and educators. Then the Congress and Cabinet could come back. They would spend the next three years mucking things up again. Well it was a nice idea.
I would love to see a ticket that consisted of Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson and Michio Kaku nominated for president. Tyson-Kaku or Kaku-Tyson. It would not matter, and they would not care. They are scientists and educators. They are problem solvers, not prestige seekers. They would rather have a solution rather than the credit for the solution.
My guess is that it would take them about a year to solve our problems. They would first have to give the Congress and Cabinet heads assignments to keep them busy for that year. Like fact finding missions and things like that. Then they would call in their friends from science, technology, engineering and math. These "STEM" experts could then start to fix our broken systems. Yeah I think it would take about one year. Because I think they know and we know that most of the answers to our problems are common sense. When you ask the question the right way , the answer becomes apparent. These guys would ask the right questions. Then practicality not politics would prevail.
After that year these two men could go back to being scientists and educators. Then the Congress and Cabinet could come back. They would spend the next three years mucking things up again. Well it was a nice idea.
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