An event happened here in Houston that disturbed me this week. A young man was standing at a bus stop with his very young son. A lady driver, under the influence of God knows what, ran off the road and struck both of them. In a split second the young man shielded the little boy, saving the toddler's life. Question: was this event the sum or average of their beliefs? That is why the title has a question mark in it.
If it was, then how much responsibilty to we attribute to each person there? I don't much like the explanation of Karma. He killed her in a past life, it was her turn to kill him. I don't much like the sin explanation. This is a fallen world, they were sinners. Therefore expect to die horrible deaths. I don't much like the negative thinking explanation. They were negative thinkers, so what would you expect other than a terrible ending? So who do we blame? The driver, her dealer. Perhaps she had a tough life. Does blame attach itself to her traumas? The dead father, what was his role if any? The little child surely would be blameless? How about a society that doesn't fix the problems of poverty and drug abuse?
Lord Tennyson had Ulysses say "I am a part of all that I have met." Shall a football player step onto the field and expect not to be tackled? A boxer expects to get hit in the ring. I don't have all the answers. I thought I did. Then I moved to Texas and discovered just how powerful and operative my thoughts were. Yet I must take reponsibilty for my part. I had a pure faith before I left Georgia. I knew everything was going to be all right. I joked with my friends that Houston was just another suburb of Atlanta. I told them that in few months I would have my life the way I wanted it. I wanted them to visit me. That visit never happened. I never got my life the way I wanted it. The way I had it in Georgia. I had opposition from my family and from my employer. I had to change jobs, taking a forty per cent pay cut. (Sorry Jesus, there goes your tithe.) The faith I thought was strong turned out to be pathetic. For thirteen years I have felt imprisoned.
Yet I believe that in some way I hold the keys to my prison. Somewhere between my feelings and thoughts, God's ideas, group minds, bad geography, cosmic hierarchy, and chance is my reality. Joseph was imprisoned for 13 years, and was named Governor of Egypt. Just a story? How about 27 years and then being elected President of South Africa? How do I load the dice? How do I purify my faith? That is what I am working on. That school of thought that will enable me to overcome. I have no faith in Christianity, at least what I knew in Georgia. I have little faith in the New Thought books I read before I moved. Neither prepared me for Texas. So I am developing my own philosophy. I have to for me.
I want God to ask me why I was so stubborn, rather than have Him ask me why I gave up. I have to learn what I can control and how to control more. I can't speak to the accident and the three people in it. I can only learn to strengthen my faith and therefore my thoughts. What else can I do?
In Peace, Love, and Light,
Enoch
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